I'm feeling kind of sad, and homesick. I was on the phone to my mum earlier and we both ended up crying. Today she had to leave her mum in an old people's home - I think it was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. I wish I could be there for her, but I'm stuck in Leicester. I doubt there would be much I could do to help, anyway, but still...

My nan had been in hospital for over three weeks. They'd fixed what she'd gone in for, but whilst there she was becoming increasingly confused and frail. She had heart problems a couple of years ago and that has left her with a heart working at only 30% of what it should be. On top of that she has something wrong with her bone marrow, and her sodium levels keep being low. It's her confusion that's the hardest thing, though. She kept thinking she recognised people on the ward with her. Things like that.

Now she's in a strange place, it's hard not to see her finding that even more confusing. She's always been such a strong lady - she looked after my granddad for years (he had very bad arthritis). He died about 15 years ago and since then she kept busy with all sorts of things, until her heart problems. It's so hard to see her now. And to have to leave her alone when she's so fragile... I hate to think how mum's feeling.

Nan's in the interim place for 6 weeks or so. What happens after that depends on what she wants to do and what her assessors think of her physical and mental state. I don't think it's the nicest place in the world. On the plus side at least now she's in a place with other people she'll have someone to talk to. I hope she makes some friends. She must have been terribly lonely for ages - she hasn't been able to go out for a long time.

I guess people don't really want to read stuff like this on a weblog, if anyone is actually reading this. But I was feeling sad and wanted to write it down. There's nothing I can do, really, except pray.

posted by Fiery Fred @ 8:38 PM