Well, Mark's already talked about the Grand Prix on his blog, and I don't feel much like blogging. But here I am.

Imagine you're a highly paid, respected Grand Prix driver. From Scotland. Imagine you're not having a great season, even though you were expected to be up there when it all began. Imagine you're at your home Grand Prix, the one with even more pressure than usual. Imagine your car has Michelin tyres. And imagine it starts to rain...

McLaren guy: "We'll put you on slicks. It's not raining at the moment. You'll be fine."
DC: "Okay, whatever."

The race starts. The rain starts.

DC: "It's getting pretty slippery out here..!"
McLaren guy: "Come in, come in. Wet tyres are ready."

He pits.

DC: "These tyres aren't working."
McLaren guy: "It's not wet enough."
DC: "Can I go back to slicks?"
McLaren guy: "Okay, pit, pit."

He pits.

DC: "Whoa, this is way too slippery."
McLaren guy: "Careful!"
DC: "I can't help it! I'll be in the barriers soon at this rate!"
McLaren guy: "Well, we have one option remaining."
DC: "Anything!"
McLaren guy: "Intermediates."
DC: "Have those been tested properly?"
McLaren guy: "Erm, no."
DC: "But you want me to try them?"
McLaren guy: "Erm, yes."
DC: "Okay. Coming in."

He pits.

DC: "Well, I'm not falling off so much."
McLaren guy: "You're not going very fast, either."
DC: "You want me to push?"
McLaren guy: "Negative. Stay on the track!"
DC: "I think it's dry enough. Can I have slicks?"
McLaren guy: "You want slicks?"
DC: "I can hardly be any lower down the field, can I?!"
McLaren guy: "Okay, pit."

He pits.

DC: "Is this race over yet?"
McLaren guy: "Not yet. Oh, now it is. Michael Schumacher's crossed the line. You've been lapped. The race is over."
DC: "You have no idea..."

Or something like that. :-)

posted by Fiery Fred @ 10:46 PM